If Your Wife Only Knew Read online

  He pushed her head toward his dick.

  She said, “No way!”

  “Why not?”

  “I want you in me right now.” But what she wanted to say was, Two BJs in one day is a bit much.

  She gulped, grabbed his penis and tried to insert him inside of her.

  “Kiara, hold up, I ain’t trying to—”

  “Shhh,” she said and silenced him. “I’m not ovulating,” she assured him. “I just really want to feel you inside me.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m a hundred percent sure, babe.” She grabbed his plump dick and almost broke her hand trying to jam it into her.

  He was hard enough for them to feel friction. Rashad moaned and pumped. She still felt raw from when Eddison ravished her. But Kiara stayed silent and rocked with her husband. Standing up and moving together like a ship rocking against the waves of an angry, savage ocean. Rashad pushed her back against the shower wall and lifted her leg.

  “Please, please, please,” Kiara gasped each time he rammed into her.

  “I’m trying.”

  “Try harder,” she said and started silently weeping. The water drops from the shower splattered across Kiara’s face. Rashad never noticed all the tears sliding down her face as he smashed hard inside her over and over.

  “Try harder.”

  Chapter 13

  The day following her sexual indiscretion, Kiara woke up very early. It was hard to think clearly but she managed to grab her cell phone and sneak out of the bedroom. Rashad was spread out. She heard him snoring. Good. She ran upstairs to the guest bedroom and closed the door.

  The room was dark. And it was pitch black outside. She powered up her cell phone, which had been turned off all night.

  Four new texts loaded up. And she had two voice mail messages.

  All of the messages were from Eddison.

  Kiara glanced at each message:

  R U all right?

  Then,

  Call me.

  Then,

  I hope everything is ok.

  I’m here 4 u if u need 2 talk.

  The fact that he sent four texts between nine o’clock and two in the morning made her nervous.

  Even though it was five in the morning, Kiara decided to call. She would use the home phone line and dial star sixty-seven. She tiptoed to the media room down the hall and picked up the cordless phone. Then she called Eddison.

  “Pick up, pick up,” she prayed.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s me. I’m calling from the home phone. I wanted to see if you’d answer. And now I will call you from my cell anonymously. I wouldn’t want him to listen in on the home phone.”

  “All right,” Eddison said and hung up.

  It was completely quiet, but Kiara’s heart beat so loud she wondered if Myles could hear her. His room was right next door.

  “I gotta get it together for my baby,” she said out loud.

  Kiara was so distracted she absentmindedly called Eddison again from the home phone even though she was holding her cell in her hand. She put the phone to her ear and Eddison answered quickly.

  “Are you all right?” he asked.

  Suddenly the cordless phone she was holding got violently snatched from her hand.

  Rashad stood before her in his boxers.

  “What are you doing, Kiara?” he said in a loud voice. He turned on the overhead light. He looked at the cordless phone then at her.

  “I-I was—”

  “Hello?” he said into the phone. No one answered.

  There was a dial tone.

  “Rashad, I’m sorry, I-I—”

  “You’re full of shit. I know what you were doing.”

  He pressed the redial button, but the call went directly into voice mail. There was no greeting that identified the owner.

  “You trying to call someone that you think I’m messing around with, right?”

  Kiara blinked. Then she nodded. She had to think fast. “Are you messing around?” she asked.

  “You need to quit. I ain’t done nothing.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “This is getting out of hand. You either listening in if I accidentally dial you or you making me drive to folks’ house that you don’t even know, or doing other stupid shit. This has to stop.” He shook his head. “But I can’t totally blame you. That wouldn’t be dope.”

  She stared breathlessly at her husband.

  He balled his hand into a fist and punched the wall.

  “Kiara, I’m going through some things. Things that make me act crazy. I think I need help. But so do you. Maybe I’m driving you to act this way. You can’t turn into a monster like I have.”

  She stared at Rashad and slowly nodded. Monster.

  He’s turning me into a monster.

  Kiara decided to act normal right after that episode. She made Myles get up for school. She put on a dress and some pumps and grabbed her attaché case and floral lunch bag, even though it was empty.

  “I’m going to work now.” Kiara drove to a nearby gas station. She pulled alongside a pay phone and grabbed two quarters.

  She got out of the car and dialed Eddison. He did not pick up.

  She texted him.

  Pls answer ur phone.

  Then she called him again, and this time he answered.

  “Oh, Eddison. I want to see you. Can I come by your place again?”

  “Come on, sweetie.”

  “And please delete that text. I will delete mine.”

  The second Eddison opened his front door, she fell into his arms. They held each other for the longest time. He took Kiara by the hand and invited her to get in his bed. He fluffed the pillows for her and handed her one of his silk robes. He went and made her a cup of hot tea and brought it to her.

  “Thanks.” She looked calmer. Her thoughts were now collected. She’d gotten undressed and slipped on his robe and was comfortably settled under the covers.

  “I called in today.”

  “I don’t blame you,” he said sympathetically.

  “It’s not what you think. I’m fine.”

  Eddison wanted to comfort Kiara. He wanted to protect her and let her know everything would work out for her. But as much as he cared about her, he realized that she really wasn’t his, not like he wished she could be.

  “I am here to support you in any way that I can. You may stay as long as you like. My home is your home.”

  His words soothed her tremendously. She heard him go in his bathroom and turn on the running water. She heard the sounds of his electric shaver. She closed her eyes and visualized a better life with a better man. She knew she wasn’t there yet. But in Kiara’s mind, she was well on her way.

  Chapter 14

  That Saturday morning, Alexis drove over to the Home Depot. She found a parking space and shut off the ignition. She sat in her car and stared out the window. It was about a twenty-minute wait, but she finally saw Rashad pull up in his new black sedan. She watched him emerge from his car. The other day he had finally texted her back and asked if everything was all right with Hayley. She told him yes. He responded that he was sorry for just getting back but if she could swing by the store, he could talk to her there in person.

  Alexis observed Rashad like a cop on a stakeout. Before he could reach the front entrance, she hurriedly got out of her car and followed him inside the store. Rashad grabbed an orange cart and wheeled it down a long aisle, turned right, then made another right into the paint aisle. She caught up with him and tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around. His eyes widened. He broke out in a grin.

  “Heyyy, babe.” He grabbed Alexis around the waist and pulled her in for a hug.

  Her body stiffened at his touch.

  “Oh, it’s like that, huh? I thought you were going to meet me here after I was done.”

  “No, I got here earlier than I thought. I’m anxious to talk to you.”

  He let her go and resumed looking at paint cans.

>   “Babe, you have rings under your eyes. Have you been getting enough sleep?”

  “Rashad, we need to have a serious conversation.” She took a deep breath and pulled out her phone. As she flashed the photo of him and Nicole, she observed his reaction. He looked confused.

  “What’s that?”

  “You and my coworker.”

  “How’d you get that?” He paused. “Did my wife put you up to this? Are you on Team Kiara now?”

  He turned away from her and pushed his basket.

  Alexis felt stupid.

  She ran up to him. “Rashad, I’m sorry. This doesn’t look right. Common sense tells me—”

  “Common sense tells me that you’re beginning to act like Kiara. I thought we had something special. You’ve never been the type to roll up on me like that. Why now?”

  “Because of what you’re doing now. You are getting close to her.”

  “That’s only because she is paying me to do some work.”

  “You don’t have to take photos with your clients.”

  “I know. But she’s all into that social media stuff. I fell for it.”

  “You’re such a liar.”

  “I resent that,” he told her.

  He calmed himself down and caressed her cheek. “You of anybody should know how it is. I’m treating a client well and collecting checks. How do you think I can afford to buy you all those nice gifts you like?”

  He grabbed her wrist.

  “Where’s the bracelet I gave you?”

  “I-I don’t wear it every day.”

  “Oh, I see. Anyway, you better stop having an attitude and let me do what I do. Hell, I know you wanna see a brother, but when I get off, the last thing I’m thinking about is hanging out. By the time I leave a work site, all I want to do is crash at the crib.”

  “So all you been doing is catching up on sleep?”

  “That’s it.”

  She knew he was lying, but what more could she expect.

  “A successful businessman always gotta deal with all kinds of shit. It’s bananas.”

  His eyes twinkled. She couldn’t believe that he actually looked happy and like nothing bothered him.

  Rashad glanced at his watch. “I was just killing time picking up a few supplies. I ain’t gonna get much because I don’t like carrying around paint in my car. My van is in the shop,” he explained. “The A/C went out.”

  “Oh, okay. Sorry to hear that.”

  His phone chirped. He glanced at a text.

  “Woman, it is your lucky day. I just got a cancellation, which frees me up till two. You wanna do something? Let’s go to the beach and hang out.”

  Rashad had just purchased several cans of paint that he wanted to place in the trunk of his sedan. Alexis walked beside him and inhaled. His masculine scent was intoxicating. His presence was comparable to the lure of a strong magnet. She knew she should have said no, but her legs wouldn’t stop. Rashad was her drug. He always had been.

  “We can ride in my car.”

  “That’s fine.”

  When they got to his car, she noticed the windows weren’t rolled up all the way.

  “You left your windows down. Anybody can reach in and take your valuables off the seat.”

  “Damn. I forgot.”

  Rashad opened Alexis’s door for her and waited until she was seated.

  “I see you’re still a gentleman.”

  “Always. Ain’t nothing changed.”

  She could only laugh.

  Rashad settled in his seat and spoke aloud. “Engine start.”

  Rashad had one of those voice recognition devices in his new ride. The ignition automatically powered up.

  He was getting ready to put the gear in reverse but the instrument panel indicated that his trunk was ajar.

  “Be right back.” He turned off the ignition and ran back out to slam the trunk tighter.

  While he was gone, Alexis carefully took out her smartphone and activated its voice recorder. Rashad hopped back in his seat and said, “Engine start.”

  Alexis recorded his voice and saved it on her phone.

  They ended up taking I-45 south to Galveston. Alexis tried to relax and just enjoy the ride. Once they reached the island, they drove past towering frame houses that were more than one hundred years old. He traveled down Harborside Drive until they reached the Port of Galveston.

  She took in the sight of a Royal Caribbean cruise liner that was docked.

  “I can’t wait to get on that ship this fall,” he told her.

  “Oh, you’re still going, huh?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  She didn’t say anything.

  They drove around until they reached the northeast end of the island.

  “Let’s get out.” She agreed and they ended up sitting on some giant slabs of concrete. They watched the ships creep across the ocean.

  Alexis was so quiet that Rashad simply grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back. Instead of letting go, he held on.

  “Rashad, is there anyone else?”

  “What you mean, is there anyone else?”

  “Another woman.”

  “The only woman I’ve been with is the one that I’m married to.”

  “You sure?”

  “What’s with all the questions?”

  “I know that if a man ain’t spending time with me—”

  “Oh, he automatically gotta be smashing someone else?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “That ain’t always true.”

  He let go of her hand.

  “Rashad, you can tell me.”

  “Babe, don’t do this.”

  Alexis wanted to say how she felt but she didn’t think it was necessary. Rashad wasn’t stupid. He knew her.

  “You’re hurt.” He pulled her against him and kissed her hair. “I don’t want you to feel that way. But I haven’t smashed anyone else.”

  “Negro, you lying and you know it.” At that moment, she felt like a wife, a married woman who has the guts to ask the question but wasn’t buying the answer he gave her.

  “You can believe what you wanna believe.”

  “I know that already.”

  “Anyway, what else you wanna talk about? You want to make plans to do something for real? ’Cause I want to do that to prove it to you.”

  In her head she didn’t want to have sex with him anymore but she found herself making him promise to take her and Hayley to SeaWorld in San Antonio. She’d never been to San Antonio and had always wanted to go.

  “Okay. I got you. As soon as I can find the time, I’ll try to coordinate that trip for us.”

  Suddenly, Alexis wanted to leave the island. She made him drive back to the Home Depot so she could get her car. She told him good-bye. Then she drove home completely lost in her thoughts.

  She went straight upstairs to her bedroom and opened the top drawer of her nightstand. She found the pretty charm bracelet that Rashad gave her. She dropped it in her purse and scrounged through the drawer searching for more of his trinkets. She soon found the crystal-and-pearl bracelet that Rashad had given her on Valentine’s Day. She dropped that in her purse, too. By the time she was done, Alexis’s bag was weighed down with bracelets, necklaces, and a fancy watch.

  She drove around until she saw a pawn shop. She got out the car, entered the store, and reached in to pull out all the items Rashad had given her that she wanted to unload.

  “Looks like a nice sale,” the man behind the counter told her.

  “Yeah, I call it a Former Mistress Garage Sale.”

  He nodded as if he understood.

  The man asked for her driver’s license and gave her a quote for the things she wanted to get rid of.

  “That’s fine.” He took the jewelry, printed a receipt, and handed her the cash. As Alexis left the shop, she wondered what other courageous steps she could take to make positive changes in her life.

  That evening Alexis received a call from an
unrecognizable number. She decided to pick up.

  “Hello,” she said with caution.

  “Is this Alexis?”

  “Yes, who’s this?”

  “This is Varnell.”

  “Who?”

  “The man you met at the Kroger store in Fresno. The nice one.” It had taken Varnell so long to call her that she’d deleted him from her address book. But now she was happy to hear from him.

  “Oh yes, Mr. Nice Guy. What a nice surprise. I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

  “Naw, nothing like that. I just gave it a little time. I take my time when I’m thinking about doing something, that’s all.”

  “Doesn’t that mean you miss out on a lot of things?”

  “Maybe. But if it ain’t good for me and I missed out, then what was I really missing?”

  “But you won’t know if it’s good or not unless you take the time to find out.”

  “True that, young lady. What have you been up to? How’s life treating you?”

  “Life wants to treat me bad, but I’ve decided that’s not going to happen.” She laughed. “I’m beginning to understand the things I want, and to recognize the stuff that isn’t good for me.”

  “I’m intrigued. What do you want?”

  “Oh wow, you’re putting me on the spot, but it’s cool.” She paused and searched her heart. “I want . . . true happiness; happiness that comes from feeling safe and protected. And loved. All that good stuff. And, Varnell, I’m ready to have fun. I just want to enjoy each day. I feel like I do the same boring stuff over and over.”

  “Then you and I need to make time to see each other and do some fun things. I work for Continental Airlines and my hours are long and sporadic, but I’ve got some free time coming up.”

  “That sounds good.” She relaxed as she listened to the sound of his soothing voice.

  “Okay, bucket list time. You want to have fun. What do you like to do, Alexis?”

  “I love the movies, I love entertainment—you know, concerts, outdoor fairs, amusement parks, basketball games.”

  “I like all of that, too. You ever been fishing?”

  “Nope.”

  “We gotta do that. How about museums?”

  “I’ve never been to one since I’ve been grown.”